Appreciation!

My lovely, helpful, fun and good-looking younger sister is visiting us this weekend. She arrived yesterday, to Lucy's great joy and amazement. She doesn't live in town, so I always wonder where Lucy thinks her "E.E." goes between the weeks of visiting. When I ask her where she thinks E.E. goes, she says, "to her house, Mom." But she must wonder what's with E.E.'s aloofness and why doesn't she come over more often? ha ha...if only she understood the concept of a 2 hour drive.
We were at a little local restaurant last night. Lucy got to walk there, stroller-free, and she thought she was pretty hot stuff while walking with her E.E. She found an enormous stick to carry along as her "walking stick" and she lugged it all the way there and all the way home. She is committed, this girl. Anyway, so we are sitting there chowing our dinners and out of the blue Lucy says to my sister, "Happy to have you here E.E.!" Does it get any better than that?

Awkward Parent Crap is a Total Party!

I have mentioned in the past that mother's are really hard on other mothers and that judging other parents seems to be a reflex among my peers. I am vvveerrryyy touchy about this. In fact, if I had a "hot button," I would say that is it. I try really hard not to participate in the catiness and also, have been a target of some judging myself. Probably more than I'll ever know. Anyway, it sucks. It's draining. It is probably my biggest pet peeve.
There is this whole "other side" of parenting a toddler that I like to call, "The parent's crap." I want to write a book about it..if I had money, time and a publishing deal handed to me that I didn't have to work for. Here's what happens: Your kid turns 2-ish...you start having play dates and play groups and various classes of sorts. You get to know these other mothers (sort of) and you hang out a lot with your kids. Well, two year olds aren't real good at the whole playing together thing. By nature, they are into the whole "me! me! me!" and "Mine! Mine! Mine!" and "No!" thing. This is their developmental M.O. They are learning how to play together, how to share, that there are others in the room with feelings, what is nice and not nice, etc. THIS IS THE LIFE OF A NORMAL 2 YEAR OLD!
Since this is the case, what develops are awkward moments among the parents. Parents will all different patience levels, parenting styles, etc. Pair that with new friends (other moms) you don't know like your high school or college lifelong friends and it is tough. No one feels comfortable saying, "Oh hi Sheila..we just met, but Joey just bopped Leo on the head...could you get him to stop?" or "Hey Darlene..I see you are sitting there glazed over, watching our two kids struggle over a toy while I nurse my newborn..could you get off your butt and maybe work that one out?" I am just saying..it isn't happening. Soooo...awkwardness ensues. Catty chatter after amongst parents...blah blah blah...I hate it. It is so lame.
I am not even writing this because this is happening to ME right now. I kind of went through this over the summer when Lucy was going through a hitting phase with a couple of kids. I felt terrible. I felt like some were watching how I handled it, and I felt like people didn't understand it and it SUCKED. Nothing feels worse to me, really. I just had to keep telling myself that it was all normal and a phase and worked on instituting a committed "Time Out" technique that seemed to work. I would get mad, however, because I felt like people would forget that kids are 2 and crap is going to happen like this and it's going to all work itself out over time! See what I mean...awkward and annoying crap.
Now, I see it happening with my friends, etc. and it is just painful. And no one talks about how hard it is to muddle through this phase from the parents point of view. There are the "terrible two's"...but then is the "parents crap" phase.
The good news is I am learning a lot about myself and others during this phase. Both good and bad. I think after year 2, they should give out badges of honor to parents who have survived. As I write this, I am thinking of my friends with 3 year olds who are nodding and chuckling and in their minds thinking, "Ahh..if she only knew what the 3's are all about." Ignorance is bliss, I say!!

Can You Freeze Frame Forever?

I talk a lot about how I wish I could push "pause" on my life so the kids are always this adorable and little and cute! I just can't help feeling that way all the time. I mean, my life is sometimes stressful and a lot of work with a lot of sweating. And yet, it just keeps on flying by. Yesterday at dinner, Matt mentioned how Tommy would be sitting in a chair eating grown up food and talking next year at this time. That stressed me out. I was all, "I don't want him to be doing that! It goes tooo fast!"
Lucy goes to school now and doesn't even look back at me as she heads into the classroom. I am so dang proud of her, yet there is this little tinge of sadness in my chest.
Tommy is sitting up and eating peas. His 6-9 month clothes are fitting just right! I was just at the hospital having him! How does this happen?
Then there's the latest in Lucy antics..like telling me on our run last week that she is "proud of Daddy for vacuuming while we are gone," or asking Matt last night "where is that shadow from Dad? (looking at the curtain)" Concepts that are way beyond her 27 months...
There's some quote out there that goes something like, "the best gift you can give your children is a home with rich roots to come back to, and wings to fly." I know I am getting it wrong but you know what I mean. I totally believe that whole heartedly - but when Lucy's stepping into her classroom or Tommy reaches another milestone, I can't help but think..."STOP EVERYTHING!"

Subtle Connection...

I have noticed lately that Lucy and Tommy somehow manage to subtly touch each other. Like yesterday we were all sitting on the couch together and I looked down and realized they were holding hands. For no reason..I didn't set it up. They were just doing it! Then, later I noticed while I was giving Tommy a bottle, he draped his leg over Lucy's and she liked it. She just sat there with her hand over his leg. The cuteness is just about enough to make me cry.
So when they are 13 and 15 years old and ready to kill each other, I am going to say "There was a time when you guys just HAD to hold hands because you loved each other so much!!" and they will roll their eyes and say, "Whatever Mom!"

What IF??

...I dropped Lucy off at school this morning, pushed the seat back, rolled the window down and belted out Nelly's "It's getting hot in heerrreee..." I could put a crooked visor on Tommy's head and roll his window down too.
And then, just as the mother's were peeing into their North Face running pants totally appalled, I would shout out,
"See ya later my Peeps!"
and Lucy would shout out,
"Sho e'nuff my Mizzle!"

What I'll Do For a Vodka Tonic!

I am leaving both kids overnight for the first time since Tommy was born this weekend.

Things I am doing this week to prepare to leave for 24 hours:
Vacuuming, laundry, cleaning sheets and towels, sweeping, cleaning kitchen, bathrooms, grocery shopping, making lists, weaning Tommy from evening feedings, writing down dog instructions, writing down kid instructions..blah..blah..blah...

I can't believe I have to work this hard all week just to leave for 24 hours. HOWEVER, drinking with sorority sisters at a wedding this Friday night WITHOUT pumping or caring for any children makes it ALL WORTH IT!!!

Random Tuesday Questions...

1. Why do I hate my dog? I seriously hate her...yesterday she decided to push a peach around the family room on our CREAM carpet while I dealt with 2 screaming children upstairs. Wanted. to. kill. her.

2. Why do I care what Katie Holmes looks like these days, post-baby? I am not sure but I am intrigued by her and her creepy life with Tom, etc.

3. Why do I want to cry/be sensitive about everything this week? Lucy heading into school...Lucy playing with friends on the playground...Matt playing with both kids in his lap...mother in law can't babysit as long as I wished...oh yeah..my boob hormones. Forgot about those.

4. Why am I intrigued by Rosie O'Donnell? I know most people hate her but I like her. She is opinionated, but also (unlike some people) - very educated on her opinions. That is refreshing!

5. Am I getting better at saying no to things? I am trying...Am I getting better at standing up for myself? Working on it...and in relation - Why are you labelled a bitch by society if you are an outspoken woman? I am sick of it. I guess that goes back to the Rosie O'Donnell thing.

6. Could life be any better with 9 hours of sleep again? I say not! I didn't know when I'd see it again. Tommy is now doing (fairly consistently) 9 p.m. - 7 a.m. Life is good! We actually watched 2 movies this week...a sure sign of life beyond children in the evening!!!

7. What do I want to do with myself once Tommy's off the boob? Take medication for my mask of pregnancy, whiten my teeth and drink A LOT of Starbucks.

8. Is it just me or does Jessica Simpson look like she has had A LOT of work done on her face? She isn't looking real fresh and young anymore. She looks rough since the divorce. I would love to know what really went down there.

9. Why can't I afford an iPod? I am sick of running with Tommy in silence, thinking about all these random things. I just want to zone out! Someone buy me an iPod please!

10. Is it wrong to be starting a Christmas list in September? I like to call it "efficiency!" That way, when "the moms" ask me what I'd like, I am prepared!! Umm...iPod?

Umm...sick day please?

I am giving myself permission to whine today! I am SICK today with sour stomach/abdominal cramping/on the verge of hurling but not quite-type feelings. You can't call in sick when you are a mom. It sucks...all I want to do is go into full on fetal position on the bed with Mtv and some Ginger Ale!! Instead I had to haul children to a baby library class and act lovely and cheery while meeting new moms and trying to make it fun for the kiddos. Matt is 2 hours away visiting doctors so he can't help at the moment. It is just annoying...so I shall try and ignore it as much as possible and eat bland, carby things like a soft pretzel. I have been through worse..like when 14 month old Lucy suddenly dropped her morning nap in month 2 of my pregnancy with Tommy. I had such bad morning sickness I would cry whe I woke up. I always think back to that month and think, if I survived that...I can do anything. Ridiculous but true.

Happy 6 Months Tommy!!!

Little Tommy is 6 months old on Sunday. He has been in this world for half a year. I was sitting with him tonight..and he just looked at me with his head cocked to the side and a little smile on his face. He looks at me with a sparkle in his eye and I can almost feel him worshipping me. He just really, really loves Matt, Lucy and I. He laughs and laughs at us all the time. I think his sister is his favorite person on earth. Lucy has been hilarious with him lately. Yesterday she held his hand through Old Navy while he sat in the stroller. She just wanted to walk around with him and make sure he was o.k. She always wants to be near "brother." What a sweet and innocent little boy. He is so easy-going and just goes along with all the craziness around him. Whether it be a toddler screaming in his face at playgroup, a dog licking cereal off his cheek, Lucy performing a full dance routine before his eyes, or his 2nd hour in his car seat on a road trip. The kid just rolls with it. Tommy...I could not have dreamed you up if I had tried. You are everything we could have wished for and more. I have a feeling you are going to do a lot of good in this world. You are laughing your guts out with your Dad as I write this and I wish I could bottle the sound. I am so lucky to be your mom!

Oh Sweet Lord It's Called 9 Hours STRAIGHT!!!

Well, we have instituted some "sleep training" over here...haven't wanted to mention it because it was going too well and I didn't want to jinx it. Anyways...Tommy turns 6 months old this weekend and he was continuing to still get up once a night to nurse. Sometimes at 5 a.m., sometimes 1 a.m. No rhyme or reason to it...and I was really starting to believe it was just becoming a habit. I base this on the fact that he HAS slept from 9 - 7 about 10 times in his 6 months..and when he wakes up, he isn't really crying..just kind of giving "shout outs," if you will. I wasn't emotionally feeling it in my heart that it was the right time to break him of this until this week hit. So we gave it a go..Monday night he woke up at midnight. He had a big bowl of rice cereal, a nip at the boob AND 6 ounces of fomula 2.5 hours earlier so I KNEW he wasn't hungry. He cried off and on for about 40 minutes. It sucked hearing him cry because the kid is never sad. Matt went in every 5 minutes or so to reassure him, but it seemed to just work him up and frustrate him more. Once he stopped he slept for 7 MORE HOURS and woke up at 7:30. Proof that it is habit!! Whooo! The next night, only 20 minutes of crying/yelling out and back to sleep until 5:30 a.m. O.k. I can handle that. Last night - SLEPT FROM 9 p.m. - 7 a.m!!!!! Matt heard him make some noise for about 3 or 4 minutes (I vaguely remember this in my happy sleep state) and I basically got 9 hours of sleep IN A ROW!!! We'll see how tonight goes but I am pretty psyched! Hard to believe Lucy (the skinny little thing) was doing that at 3 months old! We were soooo spoiled! Anyway, GO TOMMY!!

Tis' a Virtue...

7:23 a.m.
Lucy is quietly talking to herself at the baby gate to her bedroom after waking up. Matt wakes up, heads to the gate and says, "Good morning!! What are you doing?" and she says: "Being Patient, Dad."

She Did It!

Lucy had her first "real" day at school today. I wasn't all that nervous about how she'd do but wasn't 100% sure. I talked her through how the morning was going to go - this seemed to alleviate all her fears, confusion and questions. I think it definately helped her feel more prepared once we got there. This technique always worked great this summer right before the sitter would arrive as well. I explained that "brother" and I had to go to the store and that she'd play with kids and Miss G and then we'd be back to get her real soon. Well, we waltzed into the class (a bit hectic with drop off and parents mulling around) and she gave me a quick kiss and hug and off she went to do a puzzle with Miss C! I was so shocked and happy at how quickly she went for it without hesitation and not even a glance back at me!
The Moms went for coffee after that and one Mom asked me, "Were you sad when you droppped her off?" and I said "Not at all for some reason!" I guess I just KNOW she is going to love this experience so much and she is so READY to conquer and experience something new. I think this kid is going to LOVE school from now until she leaves it. She loves kids, people, new things, toys, art, music, etc. It's pretty much a dream for her! At pick-up, she was so happy to see me, but then started stuffing her snack in her mouth and yelled to me, "Hi Mom! I'm eating crackers!" I was all, "Hey Luce - we can take them - don't worry! Finish your snack!" ha ha...that was her big concern. Other kids were having a hard time and melting down around her and here was this little girl, sitting there with her crackers and Nemo cup..all butt happy. Then we had to go kiss all the babies in the play room and tell them "See ya Thursday!" and wave at them from the window in the door. Ridiculous...but so great! I am so happy for her!

Appreciate Today

I thought about writing a post today about 9/11 and the anniversary of the attacks. However, I have decided the angle I will take is to focus on the precious babes. I think those thousands of families that lost loves ones would tell me to appreciate what I have and enjoy every minute because it could change in a flash. Of course, I have my secret fears of: "What will my kids see in their lifetimes?" and "What kind of world have I brought them into?" But, I like to think if it all ended tomorrow, I have my family and these two little people I can be with today and I am so dang lucky. And so, I will hold them tight today and pray for the families that have lost the ones they love.

Tommy does something that Lucy never did. He cuddles. He loves to lay in your arms and suck away at his paci. It is so dang adorable. He likes to caress your face and touch your hair. He likes when you maul him. He also likes stuffed animals and has this little bear from his E.E. (aunt) that he mauls on his face and cuddles with. I am talking - ADORABLE!

And Lucy was sooo dang cute this weekend. We had family in town and she was so butt happy! She is seriously the happiest kid I know. She skips her way through life and dances every second she gets. See, when she is doing this spontaneous dancing and singing (hourly occurances at our house), I will look at her and think "I never want her to be any other way than this." I never want her to be sad or worried or scared. But I know I can't make that happen. I just wish I could push pause and create that feeling to last a lifetime.

These are the reasons to appreciate every day.

Their Bond has Already Begun...

*Elmo comes on the T.V. Lucy is playing and Tommy is in his ultrasaucer:
"Want to dance Tom? Want to dance?" (he stares at her as she breaks it down)

*At playgroup this morning as I attempted to nurse the now always-distracted Tommy, Lucy lays on my lap as if to "spoon" him and is all, "Want some milk, Tommy?"

"Aww...Bubbee (his nickname) has Wormy (glow-worm toy)..how cuuuute. Tommy, you like that? You like that Tom?"

Big Day!!

What an exciting day! We have signed Lucy up for a little 2-year old nursery school program this year. She had her "school" orientation this morning at 9 a.m. and boy was it a HIT!!! I felt good that she was so prepared and so happy in her little backpack. We took photos in front of the living room mantle. I think this will be the location for all the "first day of school" shots every year and this year was the first one! I continue to be impressed with this school and I am one tough critic, as I used to work for a national child care company and have seen A LOT (good and bad). The teacher and aides were all wonderful and happy to see Lucy. They went out of their way to interact with her and make her feel comfortable. It doesn't hurt that it is a brand new location and everything is clean and new. There is a playroom that is her DREAM...it has tons of baby items, strollers, high chairs, etc. Also dress-up clothes, a full vanity with pretend make-up, etc. It is a little girls dream and Lucy is no exception! Just as expected, she is geeked about school. As we walked the halls, she was saying, "Hey Mom Look! Clifford!" "Oh my gosh! Kids!" She was just sooo happy and feeling very cool. I also liked watching her interact with the teachers. She answered their questions right away and was not shy at all. She jumped in and colored, played, and even sat on my lap quietly while Ms. G talked to the parents. What a big girl..I am so proud!! Although I am big talk today because it was only for 45 minutes and I was able to stay the whole time. I am sure next week will be hard to say goodbye. :)

Thoughts On a Mother's Morning Out...

1. Why are grocery store workers so rude and without knowledge of basic customer service? It is quite appalling.
2. What are those "20-something, what do you people do for a living if you are sitting at Noodles at 11 a.m?" guys thinking as I walk by in my Mom haircut? That I am so in need of a new hairdo? They are right.
3. Man my boobs get full after 2.5 hours. Man I will be happy when they don't hurt anymore.
4. Boy, I sure wish this wasn't my last Mom's morning out.
5. Target is the single greatest store on earth. I mean, NAME something you can't get at Target. O.k. large slabs of butcher's meat. Other than that, I am just saying it rules.
6. Look at that Mom managing her kids in the store. She is doing some serious sweating..I know it well. Thank the sweet lord that isn't me this morning.
7. Why do I get furious at long red lights on my morining out? Because it is ME TIME and how DARE street lights stop me from my ME TIME!
8. I wonder what the kids are doing.
9. I wonder if Lucy pooped yet and I hope the sitter smells it and changes her promptly.
10. Man I am bummed these are over.

You Make Me Happy..When Skies Are Grey...

Tommy has a thing for James Blunt. Seriously. I have a saved TiVo'd Oprah with James Blunt performing. Sometimes when it's just the two of us hanging out, I'll throw it on and he is butt happy. Must be because he is staring into my eyes and all he can think of is, "You're Beautiful!" mother...ha ha...
Lucy loves Coldplay and James Taylor. She Be-bops in the back of the car to it all the time. Well, as much as you can Be-bop to Coldplay. It might be more of a carseart swagger as Chris Martin moans, "Lights will guuiiiddee you home..."
This morning we were running and the sun began to shine through the trees. I mentioned this to Luce and without pausing, she just broke out into the entire first verse of "You Are My Sunshine." She knew every word and even the key to sing it in. It was so sweet and so instant upon mentioning the sun. I haven't sang that song to her in a while and she knew every word. I used to sing it to her at bedtime her entire first year of life. For some reason, it always made me feel all weepy and sentimental when I did that.
For every tantrum that drives me nuts, there are 100 moments like this where I beam with pride and almost well up with tears over the cuteness and innocence.

Summer Lovin'...Had Me a Blast...

We are back from our finale trip in our camper over Labor Day Weekend. It was probably a day too long and Lucy was waaay burnt out, so that caused some issues. She had a few emotional breakdowns throughout the weekend. We are talking headache provoking...always lots of sweating...embarrasing..award winning...people staring...carrying her around while sobbing...not sure if friends understood what her deal was...multiple "time outs"...trouble with sharing...my mom is thinking "paybacks are hell"...exhausted and off the daily routine and can't take it anymore...could perhaps star on "One Life to Live" next week...kind of breakdowns.
But instead of wasting time writing all those details down and focusing on the negative, I thought I'd highlight some great moments of the weekend:
*The girls playing "family" with Lucy. One older girl told her to be "the sister" and she didn't know what to do. She stood there all confused and nervous. Then, she just walked on up to "the mom" and was all butt happy when "mom" put her arm around her and walked her around. She was shocked and excited with a big ole smile on her face.
*Seeing Lucy and Matt try fishing together off a dock with her Snow White fishing pole.
*Lucy learning to PEDAL her little tricycle with Daddy! So proud!!
*Tommy sitting up on the beach blanket all by himself for the first time! It was only for a few moments but still a milestone for the books!
*Laughing our guts out at the bonfire
*Staying up until midnight almost every night! Shocking for me!
*Visiting an ice cream shop named Moomers. We went there every day and they even have cows right outside in the dairy farm. Lucy thought it was the coolest!
Summer 2006 - you have been a good one. One for the books, I say.