The Big 5 Year Old....

It has been a fabulous week in the life of Lucy. Last weekend, she had a "Girl's Birthday Weekend" in Chicago with all the girls who love her most. Today, Preschool Graduation. Next week, she turns 5 years old.

I can't believe I had you five years ago. I remember nursing your newborn self every night from 7 to 10 p.m. I remember your wad two year old body and how funny you were as a new "big sister." I remember you being 3 years old, and always feeling like you acted so much older than that because your verbal and social skills were insane. I remember the new 4 year old who was suddenly so brave and confident and darting into the classroom, the gym, the new kids, the pool...with no looking back.

And now we enter your 5th year - and I feel it will bring a lot of new adventures. When I told you today was your last day of preschool to gauge your reaction, your face immediately lit up with a smile as you yelled, "Yeeahh!"



You are ready. It made me feel a little sad for .01 seconds that you weren't sad about your teachers and the school you have called home for 3 years (heck, I was a little sad!). But then, I realized this is exactly how I want you to feel.
Ready. Eager. Happy and moving on.

You keep loving life and all it offers. You are confident, happy, funny, very goofy (I sensed a potential "class clown" at today's graduation), emotional and kind (most of the time - ha!).



Your weekend in Chicago was a total blast. It was all about you and you seemed to really appreciate it. Things you loved (for the record) included:
The cab rides, your hotel room, getting to sleep with ME in a King bed, swimming in the pool at the hotel, snuggling with E.E. and Meema at night and staying up late, the Carousel, the "kid chopsticks," and picking out your American Girl (a little boy named Ralph, who looks suspiciously like Tomma). It was a great birthday trip.

This year you are going to go to a new school, try soccer and meet new friends. You will be away from me every weekday morning. You will learn to read. You'll stretch your wings just a little bit further. And mostly, I am excited for all of it.

The nice thing about 5 years old, is that you get to practice being "a big kid," but you still get to ask to be held, hugged, ask for "milky," tucked in at night, listen to songs and stories, laugh at silly things, not be embarrassed of your parents, and still get excited about simple pleasures...like a popsicle.



The other night, I told you I couldn't believe you were about to turn 5 years old. It seems like such a milestone.
"Why?" you asked.
"Well, I just remember when you were first born and I didn't know if I was going to be a good mom and I was so nervous!"
"Well, you are a good mom. You are the greatest mom."
You gave me a hug and I hid the tears welling up in my eyes.
I am so very proud of you, little girl.

Anything Greater?

Is there really anything greater than your 3 year old son pulling a dandelion, handing it to you and saying, "Mom? This is for you are the greatest mom," with a hug to boot.

Awesome.

Daydreaming....

Sometimes I play a game in my head called:
"If I wasn't flailing 95% of my day I would...."
Yep - that's the name of the game.
These are some of my answers....

Create a vegetable garden and hang out watching it, while tanning my white thighs.

Hang out in coffee shops and surf the internet for hot deals on Ebay.

Walk around Target, Crate and Barrel and/or Ikea for hours, strategizing how to redo my family room that was clearly put together 8 years ago with no budget and no vision.

I would look up the word strategizing and see if that is really a word.

Visit Lake Michigan more, visit out of town friends more, fly places more.

DVR all my fav Food Network shows and pick the good meal ideas. Then, create weekly meal plans and create fabulous meals every day.

Sit on my new adironack chairs outside and drink coffee, while reading the newspaper.


Ahhh....a girl can dream...

A Weekend with the Kids...

Matt was off on his annual May fishing trip this past weekend. And by weekend, I mean Thursday night to Monday afternoon. :)

We had no major plans to speak of. I was kind of "winging it," with some friends out of town, others had plans, and a wide-open weekend.

So we went to a cute little art fair Saturday morning and got our faces painted, and to a concert at our local library that night. We went to Target and had popcorn and checked everything out and laughed. We went swimming at the gym pool and then played outside for a long time. We did Play-Doh and emptied out our toy boxes to discover hidden treasures. We made gifts for Dad's homecoming and wrote letters.

As I was bathing them one night, and we were talking about our days and I was telling them how much I loved them for the 400th time, I stopped and looked around.

I never imagined me as a mom, before I was one. I had a feeling I was going to love it and I had a feeling I would be good at it, but I still didn't really know what it would be all about.

Just five years ago, the thought of entertaining a 3 and 4 year old, by myself - would have scared me to death. Many of my posts say the same thing over and over again but I have to do it: I am so lucky and grateful for these two little people. I am proud of myself for being a good mom and plowing ahead with life.

Because they count on me for their everything and if I think about it too hard, it's still pretty scary. Because I think that the reason they are fun, interesting people is due (in just a tiny way) to the way I am doing this job as their mom. I never knew I could do this. But I am just doing it.

It's kind of like a long run you tried not to think about until the moment came. You weren't real sure you could do it but you started moving your legs anyway and before you knew it, you had 10 miles behind you with some energy left.

Suddenly, it's Monday morning and back to school. Tommy says to me, spontaneously, from the back seat, "Mom? You are the greatest mom."

And I plow ahead.

Thank God Dad is on a Fishing Trip and Missed this One...

Quote from Tommy this morning while he watched me change into my sports bra while sitting on my bed:

"Mom? I want to turn into a girl so I can have boobs."

Ridiculous. Just....ridiculous.

So, So Proud...

She did it! She really did it! After weeks and weeks of working on the concept of "listening to your inner voice" and "knowing right and wrong" and "not letting yourself be easily influenced by other kids being naughty," today was a shining moment at our house.

A little friend came over briefly this afternoon and tried to manipulate Lucy into doing something "not nice." We'll just leave it at that.
Lucy politely said to the neighbor, "Sorry, I don't do that at my house."

Lucy didn't pause, didn't hesitate in her reaction. She didn't worry what the other kid would think.

HALLELUIA! PRAISE JESUS! I was so proud of her. She didn't know I was listening and she did it all on her own. She didn't "follow the crowd" or do something just to please the little friend. Oh man...it was the best. I am so proud of my girl.

I just want her to be her own person. I want her to have high self esteem and not care what other people think. THIS is a deal breaker as her mother. If I do nothing else, I want her to have strength of character.
Maybe we are making progress with this after all...

I shall now steal a quote from a good buddy's blog...she found something last night that speaks to the very issue I have been struggling with and my experience today...

"You do not have to make your children
into wonderful people.
You only have to remind them
that they are wonderful people.
If you do this consistently
from the day they are born
they will believe it easily.

You cannot force your will
upon other human beings.
You cannot hurry children
along the road to maturity.
And the only step necessary
on their long journey of life,
is the next small one."

What a Boy...

The Tomma is up to his usual wad of cuteness these days....most (not all) of the tantrums seem to have passed and he is completely obsessed with Spiderman saving the day, Baseball and Football. The boy is such a complete and total...well...BOY.

Quotes from the past 24 hours include:

While closing his bedroom door at bedtime....
"Mom! Wait! I need to go to a football game so I can see a goal post and a real field goal!"

Upon immediately getting him from his room, post-nap...
"SpiderGirl! I'm glad you're here! Let's get Dr. Octopus!"

When walking downstairs with him, at 6 a.m., wanting to kill myself....
"Mom, you are the greatest momma...." (hugging so tight).

"Dad, you are a cool Dad. And mom is a FANCY mom!"

After returning from his first baseball game on Mother's Day:
"Mom...I am so glad I got to see the real Infield and the real Outfield."

"I'm going to be a catcher when I get bigger and wear a mask by the referee!" (he gets confused about the umpire)

After sobbing for 20 minutes that Dad didn't let him wash himself in the bath last night, he suddenly stops in the middle of the kitchen, looks shocked, and yells,
"We got new peanut butter? YEEAAAHHHH!"
Tantrum magically over.

The Soundtrack of Your Childhood....

Many of my childhood memories begin in the same place...the basement of the house I grew up in. It was cool in the summer, and a haven in the winter from the rest of the family. My parents let it be whatever we wanted it to be with no major need to clean up at any time.

The entire basement was a golden color wood. There was a built in desk (like a real restaurant booth!), a piano, a big, black leather couch, and floors you could roller skate on. The best item down there: a large record player with stacks and stacks of my parent's albums. Joni Mitchell, Peter, Paul and Mary, John Denver - it was a folk singer's dream collection.

I would listen to them over and over again...dancing, singing, more dancing. Sometimes I would just sit and stare at the album covers thinking the people looked really fancy and magical for some reason. Maybe it was all the drugs they were taking...but what did I know. :)

To this day, my iPod has some of these songs on my playlist and during my "zen runs" alone, I enjoy chumming along to "California Dreamin'" or something like that. It takes me right back to my basement.

The kids really enjoy "Kid music CD's" so I oblige and let them listen to them most of the time when we drive around in the car. Most recently, however, I have been asking them to listen to James Taylor with me. They love it. I notice while he is playing, the kids will both become very relaxed, checking out their world going by as we cruise to our next exciting destination.

"I love James Taylor, Mom," Lucy said to me the other day. I am gushing with pride that she is a fan as well. She also loves "Blackbird" by the Beatles and has learned to tolerate some Coldplay every now and then. I hope these songs become the soundtrack of their childhood. It is fun to watch them react to it, become peaceful while listening to it. That is what it did for me all those years ago.

Maybe someday, a 30-something Lucy will be running along with her iPod, listening to "The Frozen Man" with a smile on her face. I hope so.

You Know You are a Mom When....

...as you sit trying to "take care of business" in the restroom,
your 3 year-old barges in every two seconds to report how many bites of waffles he has taken.

And then, when he sees you flush, he yells out, "Great job, Mom!"