I have spent the past four months entrenched in what would best be described as "my new life." This "new life" (aka new job), has really taken away from me any "Sarah time" I ever really had up until this point.
Those 2 hours when Lucy would play downstairs and Tommy would nap. That glorious quiet hour when I could warm up a cup of coffee, the laundry was folded, the dishes were done, the to-do list had been checked, and I had peace. Just one moment in the day of peace.
I'd watch a DVR'd show. I'd blog. I'd stir up plans to keep the kids busy for the last 3 hours of the day.
This is why you now read blog posts about weird ladies on street corners, instead of my old, riveting, in-depth analysis of motherhood.
One might be very bothered by this. In fact, I was (and still sometimes am), a bit cranky about my lack of "me time." It took some adjusting in my brain.
However...what has really happened, in a pretty natural way, is that it has become "a new life" for all of us.
For me, it has provided me a renewal of a part of myself I had sort of lost touch with for five years. I didn't need it then, nor did I really miss it at all. However, now that I am up and rolling with this part-time job, it does kind of make me go.."Hmm...I sort of forgot I was good at this." That is COULD be fun and rewarding. Not the same as parenting at all...but that's o.k.
It has forced even greater efficiency on my part. I was already the most time-efficient person I had ever known. But now, it is a skill that I have sharpened. Out with the worthless. In with what matters. Time is precious. Use it wisely. When I am mom, I am ALL MOM. When I am employee, I focus on that. Throw in some running, some cleaning, some friendships, some husband time, and boom...you've got it all chugging away.
What's gone away? Well, let's just say if I get three nicely cooked meals on the table that week, I feel pretty good about it. And this poor blog has been hurtin', bless it's heart. The house doesn't get dusted anymore. Matt gets more calls at 4 p.m. with a request to pick up "just one quick thing at the grocery store on your way home," because I just couldn't make it happen that day.
But it's all just fine. Really.
For Lucy, she has really evolved into quite the wonderful five year old girl. She grew 4 inches this year. She's brave and funny and loving her life.
"Would you like me to sing to you in my fancy way?" she asked her playdate in the car today. The rather shy little girl said yes, so Luce broke out into some alphabet song I had never heard with lots of fancy tongue action and nasally long notes.
She definitely acts like a "big girl" now, and she is much more capable of handling (and excelling) on those longer, fun, exciting summer days. She's learning a ton this summer at all these little camps I have signed her up for. It's been a great break from school but she is ready. The elementary school doors cannot open soon enough.
For Tommy, he is just a silly boy who loves Spiderman, his friends, hanging out with me, and pretty much rolls with life's day to day. He handles new sitters and different schedules like it's no big deal. He's also quite taller and funnier and sweeter than ever.
Matt has done his part and THEN SOME in his flexibility and just general ability to swoop in during a schedule crisis and be the fun Dad he always is. I couldn't do this new thing without him.
So it's new for all of us, but all quite fun. The initial guilt has weaned. It really is a great balance for me and we were all kind of ready for it.
The kids have naturally taken one step further from me in their independence, and I have shifted my focus a little bit on myself again, too.
I wouldn't want to do a second more than I do now. My cup is full.
But it is a really exciting place to be at right now.
