Doing It.

I've been on a bit of a "high" over the past five days. This past Sunday night, I performed seven minutes of stand-up comedy in front of a live audience of people. And they laughed a lot! Yipee!

It felt a bit like, well.....like "jumping off a cliff" meets "this is your life" meets "what might have happened if you hadn't moved to Colorado" meets "1991 Forensics Tournament in Frankenmuth, MI."

It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. After it was over, I walked off the stage, totally clueless as to if I had talked for 3 minutes or 8 minutes and ran downstairs to the bar, shaking, and ordered myself a MUCH DESERVED vodka tonic. I breathed a huge sigh of relief and looked around at a bunch of strangers, who had no idea what I had just done. But I had DONE IT! Box checked. I might be a mom and wife now, I might be 36.99 years old...but I still got it.

The SUPPORT and kind words from friends and family this past week have absolutely blown me away. People have been SO nice about saying how much they enjoyed it, or how they could relate, or how proud they are of me - it's been the best gift this whole crazy idea could have given me. I have heard from people I barely know at the gym, two older ladies who watch me on Take Five every Tuesday (who knew?), and from friend's friends who I don't even know.

I learned that it's good to do something that scares you - to take the chance with the hope that it will actually be great. Someday, I hope that the kids know what I did, how I tried to live my life, and that they also feel like they can totally pull off crazy things like this.

And actually, with this event and my 37th birthday this past week, I realized that every day these past twelve months have actually felt like a big adventure, as both a mom and a professional. And that with hard work, good luck and good intentions - you can really live your happiest life.

Somehow, I have found myself on t.v. on a regular basis, having a really fun time. I have a dream schedule, kind and flexible co-workers, a great husband who wins us fancy trips because he kicks some butt as well, and wonderful friends.

I realize that my conscious decision last January to live "more intentionally" is really panning out for me. I am spending my time with the people that matter and with people I really want to be around. I'm trying to make every day count. I'm surrounding myself with positive people who support, love and make me feel like a better ME to be around them.

By focusing on myself, my goals, and just plain spending time doing what I think is fun - it's made my life incredibly fulfilling and happy, and I am in a very happy place right now. What a great way to randomly kick off my 37th year! Who knew?

My Five Year Old Boy...

Tonight, you stood at your bookcase, picking out a book for bedtime. I watched you on your tippy toes and saw how tall you were, how big you seemed. You actually read the "baseball book" tonight, by sounding out letters and looking at the picture for clues. I thought about the last five years with my "baby boy."

You have always been easy...a sweet, quiet, laid-back baby, a low-key toddler. I try to remember you at two and three years old. Shlepping you to all of sissy's "things" early on (preschool, dance, etc). Getting to know life as a mom of a "son." Something that (for some odd reason) never crossed my mind as something I'd ever get to do until I heard the words "it's a boy!" Chubby tan feet, specific trips, summers, Christmas, what you were "into" at those times. Letters, Elmo, Superheroes.

I don't like that I can't remember every detail of the past five years. Because as you stand here, at the base of boyhood, I want to remember every second of it all. But it's in our heart forever. And it's why I meticulously save and organize photos, and this blog, of course.

So tomorrow morning, you wake up a five year old boy. You can't wait to share Leprechan floats with your class, and open gifts with Meema and Boppa at night. On Saturday, your seven best boy friends will come over to celebrate with you at your "Football Party."

Tonight, I hugged you tight and asked you for the last hug I get "from a four-year old Tomma." You are every bit the boy you are today because of how we've lived the last five years. Every hug, every story, every adventure, every day. I am so proud of the big boy you are becoming, and you make me smile every single day.

Happy 5th Birthday, my little Tomma!

Kindergarten Papers...

Yesterday, we stopped at our school administration building and I showed an original birth certificate, two proofs of residency, and filled out three enrollment forms. Tommy is officially signed up for Kindergarten this fall.

He is SO ready and SO capable and SO smart and SO independent, I do not worry about him at all. In fact, he's sort of ticked he's not in Kindergarten right now. :)

All year, I've been loving our Mondays and Wednesdays together. No school, open days, less of a schedule, errands, togetherness, alone time. On these days, I feel like I am still holding on to the very last bit of "little, little kid" time I have left. The last few months of having a boy not in school every day, with time still left for library visits, Targeting, play dates with little boy friends, walks in the sunny snow, and a game of PIG in the basement.

On longer preschool days, he sits in the back seat giving me full reports on his day, talking a mile a minute with exhaustion in his eyes.

But until then, I will hold him tight and play and play our days away. Because now I know...what others don't say, or maybe don't feel the way I do. And that is, that first grade is a big deal. And being away from them for eight hours is not fun for me. And that I really, really miss them each and every day and cannot wait to get them from school.

So when the summer ends, he will be on his way. He will be so, so ready. And I will be anxiously waiting for him after school, to spend every second I can with him.