Apparently, I don't like Free Time!

I've been thinking a lot lately about my life. I've had the time, as the kids are back at school and I continue a job search in between laundry, cleaning, shopping and running. I've found myself just a little bit sad, anxious, bored or any combination of the three recently. People are getting on my nerves for no real reason. I feel an itch...that something is around the corner but I'm not sure when it's coming yet. I haven't had this much free time in, well...ever. Low and behold - I'm not crazy about it. I've been pretty lucky. My life has been unusually fun. I'm ready for the next fun thing. No, wait...I'm not just ready - I fully EXPECT something fun to arrive soon. It always has, or I've always made it happen for myself or...I'm lucky. This concept that exciting things are around the corner has been one that I have felt my entire life. For example, I always think I'm going to win things because, well, I win stuff a lot. No, really - I've won two national contests, a college scholarship, and a variety of prizes, concert tickets and awards. I've had opportunities I never could have guessed I would experience I've been flown across the country for work. I've trained thousands of people on good customer service. I've run a website all by myself. I've produced and hosted a television show. I've done a radio show. I've run a marathon. I've done eight straight minutes of stand up comedy with zero experience. I've performed on national television. Something exciting happens a lot. A state championship in basketball. Jobs that were in fun cities just when I needed them (saving the world from a terrible waitress). I married the guy I fell in love with at age 18. I've had two healthy, awesome kids I sort of had a vision of long ago. Well, Tommy was a girl in the vision, but other than that.... I've surmised that THIS is why I've been bugged by the last 30 days of my life being very not-exciting. I seem to conjure up things 24/7...and for this brief period, nothing is really conjuring. I'm learning to sit and listen. I'm doing a lot of reading. But usually, if's only because I'm thinking/researching another exciting thing that could happen. Waiting is hard for me. My sister has a quote she throws out alot (Wayne Dyrer, I believe): "Your head creates your world." I think I have created my world for 39 years. I am so proud of my life up until now, and I 100% believe exciting things are on their way. In the meantime, deep breathing....

What's Happening Today...

Feeling nostalgic with only 12 days left of you guys in third and first grade. Here's what we've been doing lately... Lucy: Loving purses, wallets, inspirational quotes, your hair in a bun with a headband and borrowing my fancy necklaces. You love to go "organize your room" when you have free time. You're playing softball an liking it, when you aren't stuck in the outfield. You love Reese and Lizzy and Olivia W. They are three new friends you made this year that have brought nothing but high self esteem, laughs and fun. It is a relief to see you so happy after last year's girl drama. You work hard at school and expect much from yourself. You are very self motivated. You aren't real good at making your bed or cleaning up your clothes. You still snuggle with me and let me call you Deeta. You love when I am a volunteer at school, Brownie leader and/or driver on a field trip. You aren't embarrassed by me yet, but I know my time is short until having mom around isn't cool anymore so I'm trying to enjoy every second I can get. You definitely have your own style and I am proud that I let you wear whatever feels good to you, even if I'm not crazy about it. You are sometimes so mature, it shocks me. You sometimes still act like a little girl and I love that, too. Tommy: Likes to "check boxes" at school and eager to get your work done and finish the tasks. School comes very easy to you and is basically the filler between recess, which is what you really live for. Kind friend and extremely thoughtful of others - you notice more than most boys your age. You have a little crush on Avery L. You guys play "massage" and "hair salon" and you love when she comes around. You have plans to walk the "Hike for Hunger" together later this week. You manage to still be a great balance of a "boy's boy" and a sensitive soul at the same time. I bet this will serve you well when making friends. You are really bonded to Dad and your favorite weekend activity is watching a game together on the couch. I think you both love this more than anything. You are so darn cute on your baseball pants, I can hardly take it. You still blow me kisses when you head to the first grade line and aren't embarrassed to hold my hand or wave to me yet.

Tommy, freshly age 7....

You like me to sit in front of the school in the mornings, until the last moment the bell rings. We sit there talking about the fun things that might happen that day. I can tell you are sad and trying to be brave. I wish we could sit there all day. Last week you said to me, "When I say goodbye to you, I hate it because I get sad I will miss you so much." You give me extra kisses and keep turning back around, all the way to the door, waving and blowing me kisses. My heart breaks in two a little and I drive off until I get to see you again in 8 hours. I still hate that they have to leave each day. I don't get the impression from friends that they feel that same tug every single morning like I still do.

I'm Back!

Wow...I am back! I can only attribute my lack of posts over the past year or so from not having a home computer and laziness. There! I admit it! With renewed energy and a new computer, I am going to put a better effort into posting for the kiddos. I believe it is so important for them to see where they were at various ages of their childhood, and help me remember it when I am old and gray as well. What's everyone up to? Matt: New promotion at work with more travel that we are all adjusting to. Losing 30 pounds. Getting quotes on new bathrooms at our house. Being the 100% hero to one little boy, Tommy Cavanaugh. Sarah: Started FunnySarah.com and working on building my business. Have both kids in school all day now. Working on staying healthy, and surrounding myself and my life with the things that make me happiest. Lucy: Extremely hard working third grader. Loving her class, teachers, new friends, and everything in between. Plays softball, basketball and LOVES gymnastics. Auditioning for the play. Being an overall GREAT kid who knows who she is. Tommy: Also excelling as a first grader and a great little reader. Still missing me sometimes and still my little lover. Competitive. Smart. Crazy athlete. Soccer, basketball, football, baseball. U of M. Detroit Lions. Detroit Tigers. His Dad. All the loves of his life at the moment. And...we are getting a DOG! December 23rd!!! Lucy spends most of her time writing a list of dog names. Tommy cares about 50% of his brain about it. I'm semi-stricken about the work load and potty training. I bought Matt a poop-scooper. This is our life as I know it now. Can't wait to share for family moments and "isms" as things go on. Here's what we are looking like these days, minus Lucy's new haircut that is much shorter than this.

What it Looks Like Today...

Today, I am grateful for Tommy's cuteness, a fun husband, Lucy's sparkling personality, and listening to Mumford and Sons with a glass of wine on a Saturday night with nowhere to go.

Our days have been filled with learning, basketball, soccer, Brownie cookie sales prep, Laughfest Comedy shows, being #2 sales rep in the company, Weight Watchers and exercise plans, and counting down to Disney World (in 10 days! 10 days!!!).

I was realizing the other day that I am so sad that I only have pictures of my childhood bedroom and parts of our house I grew up in as snippets in pictures or memories in my brain. I decided to take some photos around the house right now...January 2012 - when you were 5 1/2 and 7 1/2 years old...

The Daily Hug

I just wanted to make sure I let you both know this story, in case you forget when you are grown-ups.

This is a really magical year, with Tommy as a Kindergartener and Lucy as a 2nd grader, they get to share the same playground for morning Recess each day of school.

It began on the first day, when I asked Lucy to make sure and find Tommy, say "hi!" and always watch out for your little brother on the playground.

Without any of my doing, you have continued to not only find each other each morning to say "hi!" but you also stop to hug each other every time. I ask every day and you never miss a day.

I always imagine a playground full of 100+ kids running around in mass chaos and you two Cavanaugh kids stopping and finding each other, and then giving each other that special hug each morning, just because you love each other and you are brother and sister.

You are so lucky to have each other!

What's Happening Now...

Geez, I have sure neglected this blog for the past six weeks. We've been chumming along, enjoying fall, the end of soccer, the start of girl's basketball, a wonderful Halloween, ending jobs, looking for new jobs, earning and taking care of a hamster, school activities, and just rolling along at a pleasant pace.

Over the past couple of days, I have felt a blog entry brewing in me. I wanted to write something really great about how fast time flies and how much fun I am having with you guys as a 5 1/2 year old and almost 7 1/2 year old. But instead, I think I'll just throw out some moments I remember over the past six weeks, in no particular order.

*As I was walking out of Lucy's room last week at bedtime, I heard her say to me, "Mom, I REALLY love you." I could tell she really, really meant it.

*Looking at Lucy's long legs over Daddy's when she first came downstairs in the morning. Remembering, like it was yesterday, when Matt used to hold Lucy in his arms and rock her little head to sleep in a similar position.

*Secretly wondering how much longer she'll tell me a secret, sit in our laps, ask for a kiss in front of friends, believe in Santa and ask me to pick out her outfits.

*Matt and I laying on either side of Tommy in our bed on a movie night. Tommy proclaiming, "I am lucky."
"Why, Tommy?" I asked.
"Because I have you guys on each side of me."

*Tommy suggesting and writing a letter to the star of the East Grand Rapids football team. Delivering it to the high school secretary. 4th, 5th and 6th grade boys actually wanting Tommy on their football team and not thinking they are "just playing with the little guy" because he actually keeps up.

*Loving that Tommy feels COMPELLED to yell hello to any classmate he sees on the streets, even if he has to yell it across a street and over cars. He really seems to care of about everyone...even the girls. ;)

*My girl and I doing fun things together like playing basketball, doing our nails, curling our hair, and laughing our guts out. I'm also very aware that I'm the one person that makes her feel the safest, least anxious, most comfortable, and most "taken care of" in the world. I like that responsibility.

*The kids and I spending a day together seeing "what adventure we will find" when they had a day off of school. Leaving the house at 9 a.m and coming home at 3 p.m. and all the fun and giggles we have along the way. It's like I get my little kids back from the teachers for a day and it's the best gift in the world.

*Cleaning out the basement and finding myself sad. Sad that it seems like "toys" are fading out of interest. Superheros, cars and Legos have made way for Ipads and football games. The Jasmine outfit is finally too small and writing songs is how she spends her time now. I found one lone Princess sandal in a box, from the summer Lucy was four years old. I remember everything about you at four years old and the summer you wore those sandals. So that went into a "save" box, along with an old Snow White bib I also couldn't bear to throw away.