Borrowed Because I Felt It...

I stole this great poem from Steph, who borrowed it from another blog. I felt compelled to put this on my blog for posterity. Mainly, so that Lucy would read this someday. Maybe at a time when she needs to read it. This poem touched home like no other "reflection on motherhood" has for me. It speaks to the last 8 years of my life...and best reflects my feelings.


i began as the mother of babes.

and i mean that, for i was born then, too.
all of the me that had begun,
the wonderings and wanderings of my first three decades,
melted away in the faces of those new babies
and i was born anew.

i spent the next decade tending.
and tending, i did well. it was my thing, apparently.

i grew into it, and i loved every minute.
well,
you know that to be a gentle lie.
there were quite a few minutes of awful. of anguish, even.
and so much comedy, uncertainty, dishevelment.
you know.

but now...
some of my babes are almost grown.
do not kid yourself about how quickly that happens.
do not kid yourself and do not miss a second wishing those
wonderfully intense, delicious early years away.

for it happens even as you are watching them.
they grow.

and as much as you need to lose yourself to care for those newborn babes, those littles-
when they have grown to your size almost-when their feet may be as big!-
it is then that you need to find yourself again.
you need to grow.

for then, as they come upon ten; at twelve maybe...fourteen certainly;
then you must find yourself in order to know how to guide them. you must be the you
that you want to be,
so that the you they are growing up against and alongside, is the you that you want them to know.

for here's the thing:

in the end,
what you want for them most of all is to leave you.
to leave your house to become who they will be.
and when they are gone
who do you want to be left with?

my wish is that my own answer
is the me that was born out of mothering them.
and the man that's loved me all along the way.
by Tara Thayer, via SouleMama

I Would Have Never Known...

Last week, one of the mother's of a girl in Lucy's class was cleaning out her backpack, found a letter from Lucy to Alaia, and had to email and share with me what it said...


I just have to share this with you, word for word:

"Dear Alaia
your a budiful girl in a budiful world
I just wanted to give a shout out
have a grat summer!

sincearaly
Lucy"

sorry, but I just have to keep that! : )


See you this summer!

Tina

Funny Thing...

"Funny thing about Joy, is that you only really find it when you are too busy having fun to go looking for it."
-my favorite Curly Girl quote

Lucy, you turned seven years old yesterday and first grade is coming to a close in three short days. Change is happening...big change...and not surprisingly, you are not pleased about it.

You love your class of kids. You love school and learning and writing and reading and making up dance routines at recess and lockers and laughing and routine and seeing everyone every single day.

Most of all, you love Mrs. Battle, your first grade teacher. The truth is, I love Mrs. Battle, too. She is the sweetest, most loving, best teacher I have ever met. She is smart, fun, caring and intentional in everything she does with these kids.

I feel sad for you that this wonderful year is almost over. But happy for what this year has done for you. It has made you able to be your 100% authentic self at school, given you high self esteem among your peers, taken you up on stage, and made you an even better you.

This past year was a very fun adventure for you - and I am so very, very proud of everything you have accomplished and how much you've grown from a worried, little Kindergartner to a tall, smart, matured almost second grader.

We'll get through this transition..you've got fairy camp and softball and the pool and camping and Miss Taryn on Tuesdays! I know you are excited for all those things but for now, as I told you this morning on our drive to school, "Just enjoy today. For all it offers and for how much joy it brings you. Just enjoy today, Luce."

I love you, big seven year old!!