Being a Grown Up....

Maybe it's just me, but still, on a fairly regular basis, I think it's funny that I am a "Grown Up."

It's sometimes funny to me that I am someone's MOM - their whole world. That I am the source for all their security, love, safety, well being. I mean, really? Me?

Wasn't I JUST singing "Annie" in my basement window well? Now I have these little people counting on me to pack their lunch and remember their homework folder?

It doesn't seem that long ago.

I remember specific days of my childhood. I remember the smell of my neighborhood in the spring. I remember being bored and making up things and riding my bike and running to the neighbors. The "grown ups" seemed so old and well, "grown up!"

I had no idea how a check book worked or how much time it takes to clean an entire house.

It's funny to me that last night, there I sat, a 35 year old woman running a meeting about things like finance and policies. That I have a job with a lot of details that I have to keep straight. That I pay a babysitter and I am the person coming home from the meeting.

Wasn't I JUST the kid who was eating the turkey t.v. dinner on a Friday night, grumbling about how I didn't like the sitter?

It doesn't seem that long ago.

Being a "Grown Up" is swell and all....it just doesn't seem like I'm supposed to be doing this yet. But at the same time, I have had this feeling in my gut lately, that ALL those things I have experienced...

Art, singing, sports, practice, family, holidays, teachers, traditions, the good, the bad, church, grade school, high school, college, single life, new friends, old friends, roommates, boyfriends, good times, bad times, moments, memories....

Prepared me to be this "Grown Up" in the world now. So I guess I need to accept that it's what I am and it's exactly where I am supposed to be.

But I may still get caught singing "Annie" every now and then....

Let it Snow!

The snow has arrived (7 inches the first night!), and with it, even more excitement over this Christmas season. Lucy was the cutest on Friday morning when she got all bundled up before Kindergarten and headed outside for some play! We walked to school - right down the middle of the road. We were one of the only school districts in town who actually had school. I almost felt bad asking her to hurry it along on our way so she wasn't late. Lots of snow angels to be had this winter!

What a cute little snow bunny!

Promises...

Tommy: "Mom? Even when I am a grown up I will still kiss you all the time. I promise."

The Day After Thanksgiving....

7:45 a.m. Mom and dad try to sleep in and the kids play in the basement.

8:30 a.m. Kids catch wind of conversations....decorations? tree? Christmas?

9 a.m. Tomma starts sobbing when he realizes TODAY isn't actually Christmas. "But you said it's after Thanksgiving and after it snows!" (there was about .5 inch of snow on our cars this morning).

9:05 a.m. Wipe away tears on Tomma and try to explain the concept of "The Christmas Season" and counting down to Jesus' birthday.

9:15 a.m. Start bringing down boxes of Christmas decorations. Kids circle around us screaming "Woo! Waahooo!"

9:30 a.m. Kids bring up ghetto blaster from basement with random Christmas music CD. Start jamming out to "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...." while they dance around.

10 a.m. Realize nothing will be accomplished with kids flailing around us. Curious George Christmas movie is put on while we work on getting the tree and lights up so they can do ornaments.

10 a.m. - 10:20 a.m. Asked about 45 times if it's time to do ornaments yet.

11 a.m. Rest for a moment and stare at the lovely tree. Move on to next project...and next project...and next project.

4:15 p.m. Look around at all our hard work and feel excited.

6 p.m. Head out to local tree lighting ceremony for some hot coco and a first glimpse of Santa....

Christmas with a three and five year old. This is going to be a good one....

Words from the Tomma....

Now You Know...

"Mommy? When I was born, I didn't even know what you were going to look like! I didn't even know who my mom was! I didn't even know what color your coat was.

And then I was born. And I realized you have a green coat and your name is Sarah Cavanaugh."

In the Back of the Car, looking out the window...

(to the tune of the Spiderman theme song)

"Normal man, normal man...does whatever normal can.
He uses his brain and solves problems. He solves people's problems.
Lookout...lookout for normal man..."

Goodbye...

Off she goes, down the street.
A step ahead to talk to a friend.
I watch her walk and giggle and play.

The blowing blond hair that still surprises me.
Only five years ago, I didn't know who you were.
Only three years ago, you were lighting up the room with your words and that smile.
Only one year ago, things seemed smaller and simpler.

Watching you walk ahead of me, I can still see those baby legs through the sparkle jeans.

I feel the tight hand around mine as we near the door.
Maybe she's not so big after all.
Will I ever get used to the saying goodbye?

Why...

There has been some talk from my 2 fans that I haven't been blogging as much as I used to. This is a true statement and it does bum me out. Maybe I haven't been inspired but really, the truth is, my brain seems to be consumed with the following things/topics:

1. I have a new hairdo, which now includes bangs and highlights. I enjoy it and have received many compliments on it, yet when I look at myself in a mirror or on T.V., I wonder to myself, "Am I becoming one of those women who gets hairdos to not look old, and yet the hairdo just screams: I am not trying to look 35!!!" Confusing....still working on perfecting it.

2. The kids. Oh yeah, the two people I am wholly responsible for. I feel like time is going so fast and I feel guilty enough about the time I am spending on other things like my "work from home" job and my volunteering position at the preschool. So when I'm not doing those things...I am trying to be very PRESENT with them. We've been making cookies and working on writing lower case.

3. Work. It's sort of a negative drain on me right now. The people I am dealing with our very different than me and a pretty "not fun" group. Maybe I've just had a rough week with it...we'll see.

4. With the weather turning colder, and the fact that I am hosting Matt's extended family Christmas in a few weeks, I have been into house decor mode. I am on my way to Ikea this weekend and am fired up to get some items to enhance and update! In addition, I just got new pics of the kids so a framing montage is also on the brain.

5. Being in charge of things is sometimes fun and sometimes annoying. I hope that my previous experience is actually helpful to people and that I am making good decisions. I hope that people respect me for the leader I am trying to be.

6. I am finding that I very hot and cold with running right now. Either I hate it or love it from one day to the next. Therefore, I am trying cardio classes, spin class or perhaps some weight training. Still chasing those dang 6 lbs. I have been chasing for ohh....2 years now.