Friendship "Stuff...."
I have always been a person who puts a large effort into friendships with my girlfriends. They have always meant a lot to me for as long as I can remember. I hear I got this trait from my maternal grandmother, who put on one hell of a "card club" back in the day.
I am proud to be able to say that no matter what city or state I have lived in or life changes I have gone through - I have always tried hard to maintain the important friendships in my life. Some people are good at that and some people are not, and I have learned (after working out the frustration and disappointment in my head) that I have to accept people for who they are and what they can give. Things change as life changes and so be it.
I have been fortunate to make some really wonderful friendships over the past six years in my "new town." I am so lucky to have found so many great women I can call or count on during this crazy and interesting time in my life.
I've had some more friendships change, for the good or the bad. Some friends seem to have faded away a little for their own reasons, or life just takes over elsewhere.
I've learned I'm not real good at friendships involving three women. Maybe it works well when you are 7 years old. But in the end, doesn't someone always feel left out?
Some people come out of the woodwork with such kindness and thoughtfulness, I am blown over. Especially from those new friendships or people I don't see or speak to as often as I would like.
Others, that I thought I could really count on, seem to run on autopilot without many emotional deposits into the bank of Sarah. ha! Do I sound like a therapist or what?
Anyway...what is my point? I was up tossing and turning last night just thinking about all this. How I have felt let down, how others are turning into such close friends. How I wish I didn't care or think about this stuff so much.
There is no real summary I have today. Just thoughts about friendship...both good and bad.
In the end, it always comes back to prioritizing your life the way you feel best in your gut. Keep making the effort to connect with others and live in the moment, as usual.
posted by Sarah @ 1:29 PM
4 Comments:
I like this post... I've been here a lot as well. In my thoughts that is. Anyway, it's crazy how complicated it gets as you get older. Well, for some at least. I can't help but feel let down by others - it's hard not to have expectations. But I suppose when you don't, and you just keep being who you are, you usually find yourself that much more touched when people do make the effort. Just keep being yourself and those relationships that are meant to be and that are real and worthwhile will all fall into place.
Yeah . . . friendships with groups of three are always tricky. In fact, I don't think they worked back when I was seven, either. Someone always feels left out.
It's funny: I would have thought that 99% of girlfriend drama would have been behind us now that we're in our 30's, but it turns out that the middle-school-ness tries to follow you, doesn't it?
aw man...I, for one, am guilty of being a fade out friend.. What's weird though, is even though I never, ever, ever see you - I still feel a friendship and know that when we kick it (even if it's once a year), that it will be a total blast and I will ask myself why I don't just camp outside your door more often so we can hang out. Plus, I read your blog everyday so I am more in tune to what you're up to. But, ofcourse, you don't know what I'm to. Just so you know - I'm totally living it up.
p.s. And the other day I was driving into Big Bob's and thought I saw you and yelled out very loudly," Hey Cavanaugh!!" and freaked the sh** out of some random EGR chick. Miss you!
A great post, Sarah. I relate, of course. And I have to completely agree with Stephanie in that it wasn't easy at age 7, either! Also that the "middle-school-ness" follows you...how true.
I think what makes it harder is that we (most of us, anyway) care about others' feelings in a more sensitive and mature way than we used to...so in some ways, the drama is harder to take.
I also think it's hard to balance life as a mom with being the kind of friend you're used to...but for some, like you, it's not such an effort, since you're heart's in the right place.
Like Amanda said, the relationships that are meant to be have a way of making themselves known...and fortunately, the ones that aren't so *meant to be* are equally good at revealing themselves. Perhaps with shitty timing, but they surface nonetheless.
Ok.
Monster post in your REPLY thread. Sorry.
But it's payday (fo reals) and I needed to make an extra large deposit into the Bank of Sarah.
Ooohh...if Matt were to hear that, I KNOW he'd have a comment.
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