All We Have is Today...
You may or may not have noticed (all 3 of you! ha!) that I haven't been posting as much as usual. I have been thinking of posts in my head over the past week but haven't really been able to articulate anything worthwhile up to this point. Don't know if I can now but I am going for it...
I have been feeling quite overwhelmed lately, mostly for financial reasons, I suppose. Let's just say we haven't had any real breaks in that department as of late (note list of bad luck over past 3 years). During these times, I seem to embrace my "stay-at-home" status we are so committed to during these few years. I appreciate the commitment we have made and I hold onto that decision tightly. We knew this wouldn't be easy for us and we weren't even sure we'd be able to pull it off. I just knew I couldn't hand over a 4 month old Lucy to a woman I barely knew for one more day and it kind of took off from there.
I use my usual analogy: "If you are in a hot air balloon, looking down at your (hopefully) 80 years on this planet, these 6 years of rough financial times will be a blip on the radar of life." In short: You can't get these precious years back. You can revive a career but you cannot revive this time. That's our theory we live by.
We estimate we are about 1/2 way through that period (3 years down, maybe 3 more to go) before I head back to work in some capacity. And I am loving the time and loving being home with them. Wouldn't want it any other way, even with the stress of our financials. THIS truly is my life work and I know it to be true. So much so, that I worry whatever "work" I go back to will never utilize my skills and strengths or be as fulfilling in the way this "work" has been. And really, I know it won't be as fulfilling. But hopefully a little fun and exciting.
And as I have been spending wasteful time worrying...friends around us are going through some horrible times. Medical issues...scary stuff. And I am bounced into reality again. We are so very lucky. So very, very lucky. And it reminds me to hold on even tighter to these kids, to these years, to the gift of this very day I have been given with my family. Life can change in an instant.
In the end, money doesn't matter. Things will get better. This, too, shall pass. And all we have is today.
posted by Sarah @ 7:51 AM
6 Comments:
Financial worries are real and stressful, but you really have a good perspective on your choice to give this time and energy to raising your kids. Through all my sadness in the past month I'm even more convinced that being a parent is the greatest honor and privilege we have, and it's great to see you giving yourself over to it so completely. Well done.
I have to say, this is my favorite of your posts to date. Kinda made me teary, even!
So many things resonate with me...the not posting as much (having great posts "in your head" but not posting them...so true!), and worrying about finances (ugh, it's NEVER easy on one budget!)...and the philosophical comments about being at home. I feel those same feelings so intensely, it's hard to find words sometimes. And I'm always afraid of alienating good friends/family who chose not to stay at home...but really, it has nothing to do with anyone but me..and you! For some it's not the right fit, is all. But for me, and obviously for you as well...it's a perfect one. Perhaps not in the financial aspect (hardly!), but every day...every minute...every nose wiped and giggle shared...SO unbelievably worth it. The most reliable stream of wealth we'll ever have.
Cheers, good friend.
You are so right. In so many ways. This too SHALL pass. And all we have is today. Really. It's good to be reminded of these things. Especially from someone that probably needs to be hearing it from someone else. I'm proud of how you're handling it all (everything you've told us about)... as corny as it may sound. Hang in there.
amen!
I know how you feel. Even though Jimmy makes excellent money, it flies out as soon as it comes in. I'm stressed about constantly. But, I also know I may not have another child and I can't get this time with Morgan back.
Hang in there--it will get better. I tell myself that even on my bad or (what I think are) worst days, I am still more fortunate and blessed than so many others.
Smile, girly--it'll get better!!
This is so true. The post really connected with me because we were quite poor when my children were young. My daughter, now in college doesn't remember feeling "poor." I must have done something right for them.
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