I Feel Lucky...

When I get to take the kids to get frozen yogurt at 11 a.m. on a Monday...for no real reason other than fun. And watch them manage chocolate cones in the back seat of the car, with their little mouths peering over their oversized winter coats. They must think their mother is a whack-job sometimes. A fun whack-job...

Whenever one of them reaches out to hold hands. Almost every time they do this, I think to myself, "I wonder how long they'll want to do this, I better remember this moment..."

When Lucy really needs a hug. She'll give me this look, with sad eyes on her poor face, and I know what she wants. And then she'll roll over to me and hug me with her head on my shoulder, just like the old days when she was a little baby. She won't let me dare call her "my baby" anymore, but at least she lets me do that every once in a while...

When I see Tommy help his sister. Lucy will pave the way for Tommy for years to come, I am sure. BUT - believe it or not, he helps her feel confident in anxious situations. He's such a different tempermant than her. At library class or in a new setting, he will jump right in. Often times she will watch him jump in, and then head in herself. Sometimes, that 21 month difference is nothing...

When I struggle with understanding my emotional Luce. Man, she has been something else lately. In ways that are too numerous to write about. Let's just say the girl is testing and pushing boundaries like crazy. And it's hard, hard work to be her mom sometimes. I think I am looking in a mirror a lot of the time. And maybe because of that, I struggle even more. Because, really, she's showing me the "pros" and "cons" of my own personality first-hand, at a preschool level. And once again, I can't control it. I like control and with kids, sometimes that just isn't possible.
Because of all of that, she is making me a better person...