Why?

Why do I believe I have plucked my eyebrows suffiently every morning, and then look in the car rear-view mirror, only to find that I am Burt from Sesame Street?

Why do I now own a mini-van? Because we have caved and it just makes good sense, darn it. I make quiches and I drive a mini-van. Welcome to my life.

Why does my boy lie in his crib wide awake, and then drifts off to sleep like a dream boat? Because I am one lucky bitch.

Why do I buy kitchen/bath cleaner with bleach in it? Because I am a clean freak, who failed to think about the fact that one drop on anything would BLEACH it out...like a couch, my new shirt from Target, etc. Lame-o.

Why are my boobs soooo sad now after two pregnancies? I mean, they could totally be the "before" picture in a plastic surgeon's office. Lucy pointed to them all confused and said, "What is that, mom?" It was all I could do to stop myself from saying, "Mommy now has "cucumbers in a plastic produce bag," Luce! You and your brother will apparently have higher IQs, and no ear infections..but your mother looks like a deflated balloon!! The sacrifices I have made, my child!!!"

And finally, WHY are my two kids bathing together so hilarious and adorable? Note how I made sure this was not kiddie porn, based on the angle. Because I know there are creeplors out there and I was protecting my peeps.