Your Mom...

Somethin' for the Kiddies....

Monday, November 20, 2006

Why?

Why do I believe I have plucked my eyebrows suffiently every morning, and then look in the car rear-view mirror, only to find that I am Burt from Sesame Street?

Why do I now own a mini-van? Because we have caved and it just makes good sense, darn it. I make quiches and I drive a mini-van. Welcome to my life.

Why does my boy lie in his crib wide awake, and then drifts off to sleep like a dream boat? Because I am one lucky bitch.

Why do I buy kitchen/bath cleaner with bleach in it? Because I am a clean freak, who failed to think about the fact that one drop on anything would BLEACH it out...like a couch, my new shirt from Target, etc. Lame-o.

Why are my boobs soooo sad now after two pregnancies? I mean, they could totally be the "before" picture in a plastic surgeon's office. Lucy pointed to them all confused and said, "What is that, mom?" It was all I could do to stop myself from saying, "Mommy now has "cucumbers in a plastic produce bag," Luce! You and your brother will apparently have higher IQs, and no ear infections..but your mother looks like a deflated balloon!! The sacrifices I have made, my child!!!"

And finally, WHY are my two kids bathing together so hilarious and adorable? Note how I made sure this was not kiddie porn, based on the angle. Because I know there are creeplors out there and I was protecting my peeps.

1 Comments:

At 4:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha ha ha! Love it! Cucumbers! I'm with you! More than I'd like to admit! And I only have one kid. Arg. Hey, I arrange cookie exchanges and keep extra pacifiers in my purse. I can relate!

 

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I'm a 39 year old stay-at-home mom. I have a 9 year old daughter and a 7 year old son. I have lived in the big city and in the mountains, but am happy to be back in the Midwest, raising the fam. I enjoy laughing, wine, bad karaoke, US Weekly, running, cemetaries, cheese sticks and short hair-dos. In my previous life, I was class-clown and a wanna-be comedian. In my professional life, I'm a journalism major with 10 years of marketing and PR experience. I dream of being a cast member on Saturday Night Live and working at Disney World as Snow White.

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